So it is written

Fresh!

2010-07-30T01:51:00.000-07:00

The smell of a new pad of paper,
The fresh smell of the salty,
The idea of a fresh start...

I sit here in my room after much thought and consideration,
as I ponder on the mysteries which seem to make up my life.

Why are we here?
and who are we now ?

why do I feel this when I should feel like that?...

It is a fact that this life of mine is still not yet in tact.
Tho I dream upon the day where I can just let things float away..

I sit here in my room,
and just let my thoughts lead me into a stray.

the " good guy"

2010-06-23T15:46:00.000-07:00

Shakespeare once said that we live in a world where the mad lead the blind... I completely agree.

Hello readers.

as you might have guessed I am not in the best of moods... The way in which I can describe to you why it is that I feel this way is complicated... but then again what is not... what is easy... No if you ask me we live in a world where as much as I hate to think it, you are on your own ( with the exception of God). In this world you must be cautious... Love too much and you will be let down, think too much and you will drive yourself mad etc.

What really pisses me off is that no matter who you are in life... you will eventually lose this game we call life. You get married, you die after, you get a job you lose a job... it's never ending. It is therefore why I ponder the whole being a good person thing..

I mean you be a good person.. the world will eventually bit you in the ass... This is no fair game there is no justice... So then I ask myself... why be the good guy. In business we know that good guys finnish last, and those who cheat, lie etc come out on top... I mean why must we take it, are we really happy? Then again... the happiness that you have... is it real ?

Upon my walk from P.V tonight these where the things running through my mind. As I blasted my music to try and calm me down... who would have thought that the lamb could over come the lion. .. I am lost in thought, and I truly thank God that I have such things as work and water-polo to take my mind off some things.

But I think I have an answer... and I think it brings me to a wall... Why be this "good guy"...simple. As Bob Marley once said right after he got shot. There is already enough of people trying to make this world a worse place than it already is.

Im am so sick of everyones bull that,that shall be my goal. To be that flicker of light in the dark. Amongst other flickers creating just enough light to keep the world from turning on it's side...

About fracking time

2010-06-08T15:12:00.000-07:00

Hello readers

Damn... I don't even want to see how long it has been since I last blogged, however; I have now made the commitment towards myself, as to create a new Blog every month XD.

So well, since I have last written I guess I have achieved a whole new outlook on life in general. With exams being right smack dab in the middle of my (dear I say it) 19th birthday, I have come to realize that I as a person have indeed changed.

True the main aspects that make me, Well ME are still there, however; I feel like car re-painted, a child reborn. In saying so I wouldn't say that I have become dull...no I refuse to believe that, but when you pass a stool whilst reading the business weekly... you know you have reached a point of no return.

I am all for embracing the future; however I am also a “live now” kind of guy. In the sense that I have an idea as to what my future has in-store for me... but I am in no rush to get there.

So ok, yeah... I guess I had a shitty birthday, but I mean it was not all bad. Now that all my presents come towards me in a financial forum I have saved up enough cash to go to S.S and a few other places =) soo *shrug* not complaining.

All In all I would like to thank Chiara for coming to visit me and for the amazing chocolates, Karla for the phone call and of course my cookie toes Rose who stood sending me all the birthday love :).

Well readers that’s all I had to say that was of any relevance this Wednesday

I better go study some bloody more.... gahhh nine days of living as a hermit to go

Till then

Steve.D

Out.

A new world

2010-05-05T15:11:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been contemplating on my old life, thinking of the good old times where I use to just hang out with my old group of friends, drink a few beers and just enjoy the evening to come. Now as time moved on, friends, situations,times and even people have changed be it for the better or the worse. Now I admit that I being a person shifting between youth and adult tried to stick to my old life style with little affect. I'm not saying that I am not glad with the person I am today... far from it. However; what I am saying is this...

A few sentences up I mentioned how people have changed. Now be for what ever reason it may be as to why they changed... it still leaves me with one question facing me, and that question is; What happened to the peace and joy which was once amongst us in the old times.

What has really been getting to me is that many people I once thought to be my good friends... my brothers and sisters even... are now the most people I fell let down by. They lie, they deceit, they use, they assume, they judge and its just goes on and on.

now a few weeks back I have done some radical changes in my life and have left those changes unspoken of, in the sense that I changed but I just didn't stay flaunting my change about. The "brothers and sisters" I once knew have not seen these changes and kept on with their ways.

It may seem like I'm judging myself now but if I had to stay going into that, then I nor any one else would ever write a Blog; as between the lines judgement can still be seen, but anyway.

My conclusion to this blog is simple... I'm just going to keep on moving up.

The way I see it is that if someone says their your friend and then does all that... well they are not really your friend then ey, and trust me that whole hugging during the " paci mieghek" thinking that " hey maybe that person might have changed after all".... not always the case, but thats a different story which I personally am not going to bother writing about.

So to close... if you even got this far as I admit I wrote this just to vent out so sorry for the negativity; I am just going to say one little thing... You can throw what you want, you can think what you want, you can say what you want... But I will not crack. Even if all my true friends somehow turn out to be as those disloyal few... I am glad that I have one true and just friend. A friend who is not just a friend but he is also my King and Saviour.

That is my new world, and this is how I shall live it

Out.

shrug

2010-02-17T06:52:00.000-08:00

The world is changing.... no I don't mean global warming, I'm talking about my world and the people that live in it.

Got closer to some

Got a cold shoulder from others

Some people changed all together and I don't see it for the better...

See I analyse everything that crosses my eye... I see an action, take it in, calculate the probabilities and come up with an answer. I know it to be wrong as I should focus on my self, but when Ill be involved... I can't but help try understand and what people are on about.

What leaves me scratching my head is that there are a few people that are a mix of all the three above. A roller coaster of emotions one might say...

But here is where it gets all screwy and by that I mean not so strange at all... The people that are close to you really don't know you at all.. even though they think they do...

Now I'm not saying that all people are as such....

I'm just saying that there are some ... or someone

The type of person that forces themselves to accept you as a friend only because they see you at-least twice a week whether they like it or not.

But what's really a thorn in my ass is not the fact that has been said... nay

Is that those type of people... now reformed don't have the stomach to say what they feel in fret of another quarrel

I suppose in this new world of mine... now that most all the smoke has cleared ... I get to see people for who they truly are

The friend

The companion

The preacher

The teacher

The loon

The bringer of joy

The bringer of gloom

The one who made my year

& The one who makes it all so unclear...

These people are everywhere... They are part of my life.

yet all I can do for some is just smile and say " orajt? "

Till next time my readers

world suck

2010-01-07T12:46:00.000-08:00

wow... I haven't blogged since summer... well it's 2010 and I am glad 09 is finally over.

those of u who know me well enough would know that I had it quite rough last year but some how I got through it.

Probability is that no one or vry few people would even read this but anyway... I just felt righting so here it goes.

over this past month I have grew wiser on some aspects in my life. in fact... here's a list

1/ NO ONE KEEPS A SECRET

2/ friends lie

3/ people can be assholes just to make the world nicer for them

4/ the people who rly do care abt u remain unnoticed by u

5/ some people don't get a hint

6/ some people wont let go of stuff

7/ 2 out of every 4 people who say they are like a brother or sister to you lie and dnt even know it

8/ When ur life begins to turn for the better you gotta stay strong

9/ ALOT of people including my self need to grow a pair of Christian balls and finally

10/ Unless you are considered to be someone popular even amongst your own group... no matter what you say or do.. if someone say something against u be it true or false... the majority of your so called friends wont believe you.

yes I know that is vry negative

BUT you know its true...

unless you somehow manage to completely let go, cut off and just not let stuff get to you... your gonna one day be human and fall...

which brings me to my final point...

why must us as people be so cruel... be it intentional or not... you know your heart.

whats the point in showing off, offending, gossiping, not keeping your word and so on ?

but such is life I suppose, no matter the amount of good one pumps out pain will always creep its way into our hearts...

what a funny world we live in...

Steve signing out ..

A walk home

2009-09-19T16:23:00.000-07:00

Hey...

After celebrating Jeremy's birthday at Time Square today I went to p.v to meet someone and then since everyone was far away or home I decided to go home. Now I am here in my gym trousers and in my ac'd room typing away, as I have nothing better to do....

No one to msg
No one to think of
No one.....

So on my way home during the light rain I decided to get out my problems solving box and with a direct line to my good pal God I began to ponder :P.

You know... This world is a funny place.
it's just filled with people all on a lifetime adventure to seek love...
People have different ways in seeking love, as they have different ideas as to how to obtain it, but yes... I believe that at the end of the day, we are all in the same race.

From start to finish people ( and I am talking in general here ) have different way's of
showing love,
of acting towards it,
and some people well... they just try so hard to achieve it, that the block away the real love that was staring them right in the face.

The love that will never leave you.
The love that is all ways by you re side.
The love the understands.
The love that is beyond all love.

But.... this is not enough. No at least not for me .....

all though I know that I am indeed loved, and all though I know that with or without it I will still live
I feel the need to have another type of love.

A love the is tangible.....

So I sit here in my little room praying to God... that maybe

If it is his will. find me this love that I feel I need.

Till then I wait for God to act.
For I know that one way or another.... God will show me how to obtain, this love =)

Untill then I guess XD

God bless you all

grey week ?

2009-08-17T11:56:00.000-07:00

Hello Bloggers

so it has yet again been a while since my last blog, but now that summer is soon at a close I think they shall become more frequent

Ok then... well

this week was quite a sad one for me as more than half of my closest of friends left to go to S.S... but in less than a few hours they shall be all back XD.... unless one caught swine flu and died but its quite unlikely O_o ...

Anyway ..

Ermm this week was not all bad. for one I realised I don't give God the time he deserves all the time... It's like when I have free time I can't get my self to praise him, but when I am busy I can fit him in all over... one thing for certain is that I need to do some Major quiet time and try make it a point to make it a daily thing.

Soo... in this period of time where I did not have all my friends I did quite a bunch of stuff like...

1/ go have a late night swim in st' Julian's
2/ watch a movie
3/ get kinda closer to my family
4/ began to sketch
5/ Got closer to some people I don't usually hang out with
6/ got better at guitar =)
7/ had long walks
8/ discovered more about my self

You know... even tho I missed alot of people... I think that with all their prayers.... they helped me answer a big problem of mine...

I believe tonight calls for a little adventure of my own....

I shall leave you now as I feel God is calling me to go praise him.

God bless you all

Steve out

Hmm...

2009-07-29T03:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I quite simply had nothing to do all night...

Got a msg from my good friend Mich, and decided to go to p.v where I enjoyed a few hours just chilling with with a good old friend of mine.

After a while i caught a bus ride up to G's and met sar and Bernice.

went for a walk,
helped some lost Swedish ppl find their way home lol
and then just chilled at the park.

Dnt sound so great ??

well it kinda was...

and here is where the blog gets interesting.

So basically yesterday everyone spread out and went to different places.

It was either half a group where invited to a house and the rest where not,
twas a girls night
or ppl where just too far away.

Dispite all that stuff I still enjoyed myself.
Yes, OK I saw it strange that after all the change I have been through these past 3 years
I still had to resort going to p.v because of some stupid situation.

Now the thing is this... I don't need anything or anyone to have fun. If I wanted to I could have done a whole night of what I use to see as my perception of fun... But I did not...

No yesterday was more of an observation...

I was seeing how some people have become since well just a few months ago...

Results have their pros's and con's tho the final outcome... Ti's just a massive question mark..

Anyway... I am not gonna let these things break down my day =D

GBU ... ALL

Steve out

An amazing weekend

2009-07-26T15:13:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been quite a while since my last blog... loads has happend but im just gonna say what I feel like lol

ok soo first off I was in a bad mood this past month... those who know me know why, and those who don't... well lets just say I had it preety rough.

Insomma I realy needed this weekend...
It gave me a chance to catch a breath of fresh air and let me set aside some of the shit in my life..

Ok so here is what happend...

Friday --> Had work where I got some bad news... was then off to a whole day at gym as to try and take off some stress, but... to no avail. Then I realised I was going to be late for mustard seed, so I showerd off and walked up to St.Julians.

A Mugi tea, a 7up float and some crisps with Jesus on the side... It called for the perfect night to look into the mirror as to what I have become. I grabbed my bible every now and again and tried to find some guidence... but my heart was not there yet. I had to dig deeper and meet God half way.

I reached a point where it fealt like I was not even socialising any more... as in my body was there and I was talking... but the real me was deep at thaught . Hence my bad mood.

After M.seed we drove up to Buggieba and just got an ice-cream and relaxed for a while.

Saturday ---> woke up at like 12pm and went up to the airport to welcome home Krissie XD ( so glad your back sis) I then got a lift home with Bernice and went for a quick swim at exiles, where I met Zoe,Kai,Hillary etc... Tho I was still in a pissed mood, infact for some reason It grew as the day moved on but hey "se la vie" you know....
I then went to the BBQ of comm which was quite nice and then asked Simon to crash at his place as I needed a break from home ( 10x bro ). Some time passed and a buch of us took up the invattion to go chill at Annies flat where Simon introduced us to "20 Q " lol I swear that is some freaky shit XD.

ermm about an hour passed and Lara,Simon and I decided to go chill outside rotating who gets to swing on the hamok and having... and interesting conversation lol. I forgot all about my problems and just well... had fun = ).

I got some amazing friends lol

ermm then me n Sim walked to his flat and crashed.

Sunday ---> after four hours of sleep I woke up lol. with a good morning said in a raspy voice a coffee and a moment to appreciate the talent of Simon's magic fingers on his bass XD, we where off to the best mass with the most interesting character that I have ever attended lol.
the Alter was a pool table with a white cloth to cover the green and the jokes between the small crowd of people who somehow all knew each other made my morning that little bit more special lol.

A doughnut and a pea cake and we where off to take van to Krissie to do some baking lol. we got back and Sim and I played a game of table tennis where I was served XD. Tho seeing Simon beaten by a kid was worth it lol ( in all fairness that kid most probably plays every day there )

ermm we then had Lunch at simon's whilst watching some F1, had a 30 min nap and went off to Sliema with Char =D.

Went home. Washed, changed and got my jester and Boone hat for Lanfy's high tea get together, which was fun :)

ermm I then got home, cleaned my room... well lol and went online where I had a conversation I now regret... ( if you are reading... I am sorry and I didn't mean it. Ill ttyl)

mehh...

anyway... I am off to bed as I have my one before the last day of work tomorrow... Wip di freaking do.

God bless you all

Steve out.

my white room

2009-07-06T11:48:00.000-07:00

I am here, alone at home...
I got absolutely nothing to do so I decided to write a proper blog.

Today I had work.. After which I went to spend some time at the millennium chapel to say a quick hello to my dad =). I then went to go see a few y4j ppl at exiles and then came home...

and now here I am... on my big black chair with thorn arm rest's, typing away at my laptop.... trying to get my mind off things from my past.... present ... and future.I know I should be all positive and stuff... and I am. I guess that since I have nothing better to do.... no one interesting to speak to.... no one to hang out with at the moment.... its just me and God.... and I am going wild!

I have set myself in a huge white room......
a cool breeze kisses my chest. The rain is falling down hard. I close my eyes... take a deep breath and with a single step I begin to fall....the strong wind forces my arms up... mussels tense....eyes closed tight burst open showing my eyes to appear as if all colour has gone ....

I realise a long battle cry which makes a lion's roar seem like a whimper.... and then... with no effort at all I shoot out of the pit and sprout out huge, white angle wings.I look at my hands and clench my fists. I flap my wings and in no time at all, disappear into the horizon...

Make of this what you wish.

Steve Out

Silence

2009-07-03T07:17:00.000-07:00

had an 18th party... twas fun =)

yeah..

heyyy

2009-06-27T07:03:00.000-07:00

I have just woken up from my first real sleep in 2 months and guess what... I'm still tired loool.
I am enjoying the fact that I have nothing to do today , its been a while since I just had some Steve time. I think we should all make room for our self sometimes =D.

OK soo I have some stuff I want to explain to my readers =P

right ....
so first off I know I have been real moody lately and well I got fed up of people stating the obvious and asking if I am in a bad mood when the see me on my own

ye it would be coz im in a bad mood but when I will be on my own the only people I would relay talk to know who they are..... I am not trying to piss off anyone but honestly if u see me in a bad mood just talk to me like you normally would. I will get better after I go pray and stuff so don't worry.

ermmm...

so yesterday I had Christabel's 15th birthday party thing at mellieha, I must say it was nice to get away for a while even tho I did not stay all that long.

I then got a lift with Charlene and Christabel where Chris kept changing every single song till we got to sliema until she found the one song she wanted XD drove Charlene crazy ( 10x for the lift bdw )

After that I showered, changed , ate and did some of my log book. later I went off to community
where Mig gave one of the best talks I have heard in a good while. I am probably saying this because I relay felt like it was directed to me. lol it was shit scary but in a good way XD

later we went to Birgu to some fancy bar where matt got tipsy on a SINGLE GLASS OF WHITE WINE lol can anyone say cheap date . We then went to step on and mig gave me a lift home =)

Now I am listening to the new Hillsong album which krisse has just sent me XD * LOVE YA SIS *

wow I feel sooo much better :) I feel like that even tho my life is meant to be realy bad hekk as if I just know God has got me coverd and as long as I stay close to him... The world can not break me down XD.

I am off

God bless you all =D

Steve out .

SUMMER day 1

2009-06-19T08:51:00.000-07:00

WAAAAAAAAAA XD

my summer has started, and up till now it has been amazing.

mela.....

as soon as I finished my paper which was quite easy, I went to pull out some cash and went off to get a... dr juice, gogi berry smoothie and a jar of sea water to give to Kai lol

well smoothie is coz I know she loves em
and sea water is coz she can't swim ><.
I am gonna say from now since i have already been asked... I did not do all that coz I like her :P, shes like a sister to me .

anyway I dropped those off, stood a while... then went off to millennium chapel for some quiet time :) After that I got some amazing sushi and ate it on the pier next to the sea, was amazing knowing I do not have to hurry to get home and study XD insomma..... then I went over to my friend Tara and swam; and my plan was to head off to home after that.

Twas not the case...

met matt. urp whilst he was looking for parking, got in his car and ended up looking for parking with him, then we went to exiles and met loads of lovely ppl where we played wear wolf again lol but Simon made it interesting and mad just a ware wolf XD well done sim n hope ur *&^(%$ up shoulder get healed soon dude

ermmm just got home... I know I got community in like 2 hrs but I am up for anything lol. I rly enjoy not planing stuff and just going on a random adventure. It's amazing how much stuff you find to do when you don't plan anything.

anyway, I go shave,shower and change

Tc ppl and God bless

Steve out .

so...

2009-06-17T07:58:00.000-07:00

So I just came home from spending 6 hrs at mcast doing a pressentation which I felt I did realy well in.. and a meeting which was so boaring it left me counting the the ammount of times the princaple said " insoma" XD
God I have never felt like going for as swim as bad I as do now, but I only got 2 days left which means 2 exams dnt wanna ruin it now huxx...

well few minutes ago I read kai's blog and it actuley put me in a good mood, and reminded me on what I tell alot of people... to appriciate the little things and be positive =D.

yesterday something strange happend.... I dono how, but some how I managed to hurt the bottem of my left foot, but ill live XD

ermmm yeah thats preety much it

God bless you all

Steve out.

you bastard!!!

2009-06-13T16:19:00.000-07:00

You bastard!!!

to you who forgot my birthday,
to you who pissed me off,
to the twat that made me want to beat him senseless for something he/she taught of.

taken lightly or given a shrug its YOU im speaking of

so take your smile and shuv it up your ass.
You know who i'm speaking of.

But bastard please understand, it s not hatred that courses through my vains .....
just the bastard inside me.... wanting you in pain

so from a bastard to a bastard hear my plead.
there is no need to make me feel...... to make you feel.........

what we all feel but do not reveal

steve out

Gremlins

2009-06-09T03:57:00.000-07:00

The count down has begun.
MY summer is 8 examinations away, and yet with every day that passes I feel mixed emotions about it all.

I mean sure there is the beach, Dr juice and random adventures, community stuff, y4j stuff, possible dating... and hell my own 18th party is just after examinations.... but what use is that when all so many people including your self will be busy with their own thing. Be it improving your future, busting your ass to make some cash or even just traveling... I feel this summer just has a huge question mark....

They say that summer is what you make of it and I guess that is kinda true. btw who the hell is "they" ? until I get an answer for who "they" is I'm going with Gremlins XD ... why not?

well anyway I just came back from an accounts exam... was OK I guess, felt i should have done more studying tho.

SHOUT OUT TO ZOE =D

mehh back to studies

till next time

Steve

Make a wish and blow the candle

2009-06-02T13:32:00.000-07:00

hello all...

well, I am 18 today... and I decide to write a blog as I cant sleep.

I was expecting something Big today both spiritually and earthly. I stood waiting for God to give me a special little gift, or an over dose of attention; But as the day grew shorter the gift seemed like a spit in the eye .I was angry... both at God and at the world.

I tried to figure out why this situation seemed soo shitty but my anger built a wall around me and blocked the simple answer out. After I calmed down a bit I came to realize..... I had an amazing gift, and i never even saw it.

my mother giving me a gift from her heart when money is short.... the little sparrow that landed near my feet when I was waiting for a bus..... the ray of sunshine that gave me light to read..... the smile from a stranger.... a hug from a person that I would die for. These where my gifts, and now that I look back on it i realize what a fool I was.

Just because a person sends you a birthday greeting or a hug hello dose not mean that he/ she loves you.... Love is in the little things.

So things where not all sunshine and rainbows lol big woop.
The way I see it is like this.... you can either moan about how the world is picking on you.... or you can embrace it and fight a negative with a positive to make it attractive in your eyes hehe.

I guess that's it really.... another year passed by XD, one year closer to my house in the skies.

All i got to say is this really.... The world can and will throw all it has on my back to try bring me down... but I know that God is right there with me, easing the burden and letting the wind blow on my face =).

I LOVE you God *hug*

God bless you all

till next time

steve =)

It is his birthday

2009-05-26T09:24:00.000-07:00

I feel exactly like this guy, but don't have his ending

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Chd540Gnq0&feature=related

What a weekend

2009-05-25T06:44:00.001-07:00

Hello all

Well I am in a great mood since last weekend so i decided to share it all with you via blog =D.

anyway sat we had a nice relaxed evening on the beach. Bongos, guitar's beer and a fiaccola lol * SHOUT OUT TO PAULA *

was nice to get away from the books for a while and spend that time with some amazing people ;)

Got a feeling where gonna do that alot in summer XD I wont mind.

Anyway Sunday we had the famous wedding XD.
it was EPIC. open bar, great food, dancing and just fooling around hah was great.
was not sure how I felt about not getting drunk after drinking soo much. lol I'm guessing I sweat it all out of my system, dancing.
still got a fraking hang over tho mehh :S

not fare if u ask me :P

ermmm.... yeah then after we went to a little place to get a pizza coz like we could XD and then Matt gave me a ride home * SHOUT OUT TO MATT *

Anyway that was pretty much my weekend lol.

I'm a little pissed off I got to study on my birthday :( but MAYBE we do something small after community or Y4j.... what u think guys ?????

* puppy face *

P.S
I am trying to introduce some colour into my life XD.
I figured God made so much more than black hehe. I am never gonna wear pink tho so no ideas girls :P

anyways I shall be leaving you all as I must carry on with my studies.... (18th June.... where for art thou 18th June )

God bless you all =D
Till next time

Steve.

A little change

2009-05-23T05:48:00.000-07:00

Hello all

well I decided to change a few things on my blog

1/ my background.

Being that summer is soooo close but yet so far I needed a nice summerish thing... enough said

2/ my blog title to " brain crack"

Yes well when I do a blog its because my brain will be sooo backed up with soo much taught and ideas that I got to let them out in some form or another p.s yes sim I know I saw it on a video but still XD

anywayssss I shall leave you all as I have another *** exam to go to :(.

God bless you all
till next time

Steve =).

angel rays

2009-05-20T11:43:00.000-07:00

the days have been passing by and I can feel summer getting closer and closer.

With every day that passes I long for summer more and more... but at the same time I wish to travel back to those days where I made my mistakes.... if only it where possible.

Fact is that I know that most of my mistakes have made me the man that stands before you, but sometimes this man just hang his head and cry.

I'm sure you all know that this world is not all rainbows and jellybeans... Its rough, and I don't care who you are... if you let it, the world will beat you down and turn your world upside down, but we must not cave...

" it's not about how hard you hit, but how hard you get hit and remain standing"..... those words are burnt into my mind forever.

But Alas, this world is not as dark as it seems.... you just have to spit polish your skies abit and look for the Angel rays.

anyway enough of this stuff for one day lol

mehh exams are driving me up a wall, and all these plans for summer ughhh don't know where to begin.

Today I got to be a good Maltese citizen and called the fire brigade because like... I saw a fire... well there was too much smoke for it to be a bunch of teens smoking weed and watching episodes of charlie the unicorn XD

ahhh bdw I think I taught of a theme for my 18th, tell me what u guys thing about a crazy hat party =D

anyway I'm off to carry on studying about how shitty the international marketing system is so I shall leave you all for now.

SHOUT OUT TO MR .MAGGIE who is getting married this Sunday XD.

God bless you all

Till next time

Steve.

F.Y.I

2009-05-11T09:26:00.000-07:00

Christian life and life are not the same ppl

Brain crack

2009-05-11T08:22:00.000-07:00

It has been around 4 weeks since my last blog and I am quite ashamed by that... but I have a valid reason, that being exmainations :(

anyway since my last blog I came to realize a few things...

1/ flip flops are not made for long distance walks XD
2/ I have a short attention span of 30min when it comes to studying.
3/ ( christian life + girls) multiply by life = confusion
4/ its ok to wear yellow... but im still not gonna wear it lol
5/ I hate statistics with a passion
6/ people make a fuss over nothing
7/ just coz u have wheels does not mean you can use them lol

yes well if u know me well enough u should get all that XD.

I am now failing to write a popper blog because well i have brain crack and it is making me lose taught haha ...... yes.

anyway I better stuff my face with my books yet again.... *dam it*

Ill blog again next time inspiration strikes whilst ill be online XD

take care readers

God bless u all

Screw It

2009-04-12T02:44:00.000-07:00

Hello readers

Happy Easter *hug*

I have decided to do a little blog as to begin the new christian year =).
( this shall be relatively short)

Well I have decided something....... ever since I can remember I always use to do things my own way... Never let God take complete control of my life. This was, and kinda is because I only use to see a piece of the whole picture.
See thing is God knows the whole picture inside and out, and along the road we might have to lose or gain something we truly love. We have to keep in mind that God dosen't want to hurt us... He wants us to have what is best` for us, and if that means abit of suffering or abit of loss then so be it.

Now im going to be honest with you.... I am shit scared to give God complete control.... I always like to have a little safety line where I "THINK " I am in control.
In actual fact we are never in control.... yes we have free will, but can we control what tomorrow holds for us ?

All that aside what I am trying to get to is this ...
Even though we can only see a few feet ahead of us.... lets take that step of faith.

I for one have realised that by "taking control" of things I have spun out of control, and have been hurt many a times...
I truly believe that this Easter calls for a new beginning......
A fresh start =D

"I shall take the leap and see where the trail ends day by day.... It's ALL in HIS hands"

God bless you all

Steve out.

ughhhh

2009-04-07T16:35:00.000-07:00

I still cant believe it....

Ughhhh. you ever get those days where you feel the world Is picking on you.
Like some fat kid focusing the sun through a lens, onto your head.
spread that out for a good 2/3 months and you got my life right there....
Im not trying to sound like a person who is at the end of his rope... Im just saying it how it is.

The second I get well happy... it's like the glass shatters once again. Always with something new.... Looks like the bastard down there really has it out for me lol.
The thing is that I can deal with it all, I mean im still alive.... the only thing I cant fix is something that cant really be changed.... and that is peoples way of labeling me before even understanding my situation.
I don't get how when someone needs to tell you something bad they just try do it in a way where they try not to hurt you..... thing is they don't know how to deal with it... they there for do something out of impulse that not only screws up everything but also hurts you.
As things progress and screw up even more you get more and more hurt, but yet show no emotion over it as not to seem like an ass. people will then think all is well and carry on hurting you.

people need to place themselves in the persons shoes before acting.
I swear..... sometimes I think we all just need a good kick in the ass.

Anyway..... that's life I guess

Until next time readers

Tc Gb .

Steve out.

Music

2009-04-02T06:44:00.000-07:00

Music gives me power as I hear it every hour, on the hour.
It takes my sorrows away as it lifts me higher to a better day.
As I insert my head phones and turn on the power I feel my self lifted up, high above this tower.

Music takes me away and sets me in a place of my own.
It takes me to a place where I know im not alone....

It lifts me up above the clouds and wipes away the rain
It also give me courage to hide away the pain.

So I shall play my music maker, every day and every night;
just hoping one day that my music will give me flight.

Sunny days

2009-03-28T03:30:00.000-07:00

Hello readers

Y4J talks are now over I'm afraid; all that's left is the mass which is today... though it should be just as fun and amazing =).
Anyway the talks where brilliant, so well done to all who where involved including Tuzi, Fr ray etc...... Seriously well done guys. I must admit being my first time going to the Lenten talks of Y4j... I was impressed with the performance but most of all the turn out so once again.. well done XD .

You know..... this week I realised a few things about my self.
>>> *flash back*<<<
I was having a real shit week, but I was under the impression that I was living a good life, which gave me a little self esteem.... all because I stopped going to bad places and doing bad things.
I failed to realise that there was more to it than that. " It's not about me, its about HIM"
every time I hurt someone or turned my back on them I was doing it to God ..... even if I had the right of way. You see we are all In God's image and we have to respect that.
One thing I found out is something that we all know but find it IMPOSSIBLE to apply in today's world.... that is to love your neighbour.
If you put all the commandments together it basically sums up to that same message.

( what a taught for a 17 year old to have during a lecture on international marketing ey XD)

The next thing that smacked me in the face was that I had to come to facts and accept who I am... If I stay saying " I'm not able to" or " I'm not good enough" It's like turning to God and saying you know you did a good job creating me.... but I think you could have done it better. Sadly enough that taught passes trough my mind quite often.
Being a competitive person I always try for the best and if I don't get there I take it against my self .
Recently I have come to terms with my self and accepted a few things about me, now I'm not saying now that life is all candy and rainbows lool far from it XD
but hell I'm on the way.

( bdw flash back finished up there somewhere didn't feel like finding it he he)

Besides all that I have decided to take a step in my life.... that step for me is a mile long and consists of me dying to self yet again.

I made a pact with my self and God as to take things slow, and to let Him to choose my right of passage.... not to run head first into something and let it all fall down on top of me after short period of time.

Anyway I think i wrote enough for one day lool
hope I didnt sound like an emo XD

God bless you all

Steve out.

Me

2009-03-26T08:51:00.000-07:00

OK i decided to change my blog thingy once again, as to portray my character. After hours and hours of searching through crap I fond one which I can say portrays well ME =D.

Tell me wat u guys think ?

New Blog thingy

2009-03-25T05:38:00.000-07:00

I felt that i should do a blog just for changing my thingy so here it is XD

tc PPl GB

p.s a proper blog coming soon.

Hello again

2009-03-21T19:07:00.000-07:00

Hello readers.

Well i am having one of my sleepless nights, sooo i decided to write a blog as to tired my self down. we shall see if I'll succeed in getting tired XD

Anyway since the last time that I have blogged, quite a few things happened in my life.

1st i shall be talking about the picnic which I thank Paula for inviting me too *hug*, twas an amazing day so thanks paws, I enjoyed it. I got to meet a bunch of new fun people and learnt the names of those who I knew by face lol, so wasn't a bad day. we had a nice touch rugby match between us guys; it had us all sore the next mourning but hell, was worth it hehe. after that I just went home and flopped on the sofa and watched a DVD... basically was a beautiful night .

day 2 ( pleas notes these days where not after each other lol)
anyway the day I'm talking about is Friday which was yesterday no wait ughh to get technical it was two days ago lol sorry but I consider a new day when the sun rises.... don't ask. Well school was nothing special, just boring lectures and then a test but was ok. IT WAS MY BROTHER IAN'S BIRTHDAY XD so this blog is in dedication to him hehe. we had a small family thing for my bro you know cake, snacks, a happy birthday song or two etc etc....
After that we had community where my brother showed us this thing called " the tomato prayer" basically was we split up into teams of six with had at least one male in each team. the male held the tomato in hand and each person had a tooth pic. Now we had to visualise the tomato as the heart of Christ and the tooth pic as the spear a.k.a sin.
My brother would then say random sins and if u did it you poke the tomato ( heart).
OK we had people that took the Mikky out of it but I say it was effective so thumbs up bro =).
After community we went to what was left of the Y4J CD launch, which I must admit is amazing; So well done to all. Anyway then we helped them pack up, said hey to a few people and went to amigos. After which we ended up walking to the cars in really bad rain but it didn't ruin the night as I enjoy walking in the rain, so long as the distance is short XD.

Day 3 ( today)

Well today I spend most of my day studying and thinking if I should shave my hair again... prob will as its comfy. anyway later on I met up with Martina and co, and went to the mass at st Julian and then stayed for the praise of Y4J, where I met the rest. The praise was incredible ... The presence was really there =).

Insomma after we went to mcd ( God why lol ) and basically stood the remainder of Saturday night / Sunday mourning there. was another great night with great people.

In case you where wondering it is now 3:47 AM and I am still not tired, BUT!!! I shall be off as I am out of words lol XD.

Steve out.

Take care
God Bless
comments are much appreciated =D.

Life goes on...

2009-03-16T15:03:00.000-07:00

Hello readers

Well I am quite pleased with my self as I have been keeping to my blogging so far.

Since I haven't blogged in a good week ill give you a run through of what I did not mention.

To be honest with you all I was having a pretty crap life these past few months.... I had so much shit going on at the same time that it was becoming a burden. I felt as if I was going to break down at any second.... last weekend I spoke to a good friend about one of my biggest problems, he told me to cut some chains, seek God and ask HIM to fill the gaps the chains once occupied.

Thing is I knew all this before but never really took it into action.the next day I went for a walk and took my bible along with me. I went down to the beach and stood there for a good few hours. I talked with God and placed it ALL in his hands, knowing not was to come next I had complete faith in HIM.

While thumbing through my Bible I came across the story of Job. I was reading on how he had everything and then lost it all to the world, but in the end just kept praising God. All of a sudden it hit me.... I stood moaning as to how shit my life was and woe is me but hell I was still alive, I still had a family, still had a meal every day, cloths on my back etc... life wasn't as dark as it seemed. God showed me that the prince of this world had NO power over me what so ever and showed me that I was FREE!!!.

I had never felt so amazing in my life. Over joyed I sprat to my house, as I ran I felt more and more liberated with every stomp my feet made on the black roads in my flat DC shoes. lol some people probably taught I was mad but i couldn't have cared less XD

So I say to you my reader who ever you may be... If you are in my situation be it what it is. I tell you now to break your chain and be FREE!!!!

" The past is history , the future is a mystery but today is a gift. That's why it is called the present "

This is Steve signing out .

p.s comments are welcomed :P

2009-03-10T14:31:00.000-07:00

Mr president ???

Hello readers
well today was a really interesting day for me, for those of you who may not know I am the representative of my course which covers about 700 students or something like that. Basically my job is to do jack but it looks nice on my diploma lol .Anyway today I along with all the other representative's of the different courses where called into the senior executive's office ( ohh yes big words ) He assembled us to tell us that next week they will open the polls so that 2 count them 2 of us may represent over 5000 students in front of the Bord of directors, minister of education and other big Whigs. Anyway apparently all we got to do is meet with them once a month as to talk about the new MCAST that is being built and put in the students point of view.

And anyway that's pretty much

Aways that's basically it for today.

I shall leave you all with many thanks for reading my blog.

God bless you all.

Steve.

A verse from a song im writing

2009-03-09T14:03:00.000-07:00

I walk along the road of fire
Watching as the blackness grows ever higher
waiting for the light to take me away,
So that I may see the light of yet another day.

( I'm not emo so don't worry XD )

BDW

2009-03-09T09:15:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention lol .

I would like to thank SIMON CALLUS for my inspiration as to write a real blog.

Today

2009-03-09T08:40:00.000-07:00

Well it has been a while since I have done this so bare with me XD

I have decided to TRY and keep a blog as to improve my English usage and keep my friends / those who have nothing better to do but check other peopels blogs, informed as well as put up a few good pics hehe.

ermm well today I had a test which i fealt i did great in other than that nothing realy worth mentioning lol.

Anyhoooo I shall be leaving you for now.
look forward to another deacon express soon.

God bless you all

Steve

musical day

2008-08-30T07:29:00.000-07:00

Heyy ppl.

I've been having a rough time latley but today i was able to see abit of beauty in this world :) finaly baught new strings and a tuner for my guitar and i did a little jamming session at the beach and saw the sun rise over sliema. I realised that even tho you may have a shity day its ur mentality on the subject that rly effects your day and not rly the thing its self. Yes its hard to paint a smile on and just carry on living your life but if you look on the postive side of things then you will be a much more at rest person.

In these you realise who your true friends are and I just want to tell them all that even if i dnt show it you all mean the world to me.

any way i off to carry on my day, Tc ppl
God bless you all =D.

~~~

2008-08-27T05:04:00.000-07:00

sooo this is my 2nd blog...., maybe not the last issa I see, anyway since I wrote my last blog ive been passing through wat I call a RLY shit week lol imma life goes on.

you know it suprises me how life works sometimes.... you think its X when it rly Y, I just dont think well ever be able to understand its complexity.

anyway on a brighter note im off to 2nd year MCAST XD dono how but anyway and 2night is reef rythms featuring cider house ;) hehe so better be worth my 10 euros guys lol.

before I leave u all im gonna leave you with a short word of advise " instead of thinking of what could have been think about what is " thinking about the past gets u nowhere ppl just into depression so leave it where it belongs... in the past

I hope all is well with all of you guys if not well too bad join d freakin club XD im jkin le if not just keep postive... it shall pass.

anyways tc all and Bod bless .

I cnt belive how bored I am :P

2008-08-13T15:39:00.000-07:00

Ello ppl to my first ever blog.... so like since its my 1st blog im going to tell you stuff about me XD. Mela....
Im 17 years old and I live in Sliema (which for those of you who dont know is in Malta lol) anyway... moving on im the type of guy that is rly into sports,music,art,history and other crap but the most thing i love doing is going mad with my friends :P. now..errrrr ohh ye mela u got a certin person named karla to blame for making me do this blog coz like out of my boardisem today i saw her blog and said wat d hell it's a good time waster =D, but 10x anyway luv even tho u dnt know lool.sooooo ye TODAY was the first day in about 4 weeks that i slept in my bed coz ive been on outreach in Assisi for a week which kicked ass bdw ( lots of healings :D) insoma wen i came bk home we went to wardija in a nice big house and like came back today, was a blast but. anyway i wain pv about an hr ago .... not a good night at all ughhh, i just dnt get some ppl. anyway ill do another blog laterish as it grows but like this is ma FIRST XD.
good night ppl,
GBU all.