Saturday, September 19, 2009

A walk home


After celebrating Jeremy's birthday at Time Square today I went to p.v to meet someone and then since everyone was far away or home I decided to go home. Now I am here in my gym trousers and in my ac'd room typing away, as I have nothing better to do....

No one to msg
No one to think of
No one.....

So on my way home during the light rain I decided to get out my problems solving box and with a direct line to my good pal God I began to ponder :P.

You know... This world is a funny place.
it's just filled with people all on a lifetime adventure to seek love...
People have different ways in seeking love, as they have different ideas as to how to obtain it, but yes... I believe that at the end of the day, we are all in the same race.

From start to finish people ( and I am talking in general here ) have different way's of
showing love,
of acting towards it,
and some people well... they just try so hard to achieve it, that the block away the real love that was staring them right in the face.

The love that will never leave you.
The love that is all ways by you re side.
The love the understands.
The love that is beyond all love.

But.... this is not enough. No at least not for me .....

all though I know that I am indeed loved, and all though I know that with or without it I will still live
I feel the need to have another type of love.

A love the is tangible.....

So I sit here in my little room praying to God... that maybe

If it is his will. find me this love that I feel I need.

Till then I wait for God to act.
For I know that one way or another.... God will show me how to obtain, this love =)

Untill then I guess XD

God bless you all

Monday, August 17, 2009

grey week ?

Hello Bloggers

so it has yet again been a while since my last blog, but now that summer is soon at a close I think they shall become more frequent

Ok then... well

this week was quite a sad one for me as more than half of my closest of friends left to go to S.S... but in less than a few hours they shall be all back XD.... unless one caught swine flu and died but its quite unlikely O_o ...

Anyway ..

Ermm this week was not all bad. for one I realised I don't give God the time he deserves all the time... It's like when I have free time I can't get my self to praise him, but when I am busy I can fit him in all over... one thing for certain is that I need to do some Major quiet time and try make it a point to make it a daily thing.

Soo... in this period of time where I did not have all my friends I did quite a bunch of stuff like...

1/ go have a late night swim in st' Julian's
2/ watch a movie
3/ get kinda closer to my family
4/ began to sketch
5/ Got closer to some people I don't usually hang out with
6/ got better at guitar =)
7/ had long walks
8/ discovered more about my self

You know... even tho I missed alot of people... I think that with all their prayers.... they helped me answer a big problem of mine...

I believe tonight calls for a little adventure of my own....

I shall leave you now as I feel God is calling me to go praise him.

God bless you all

Steve out

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


Yesterday I quite simply had nothing to do all night...

Got a msg from my good friend Mich, and decided to go to p.v where I enjoyed a few hours just chilling with with a good old friend of mine.

After a while i caught a bus ride up to G's and met sar and Bernice.

went for a walk,
helped some lost Swedish ppl find their way home lol
and then just chilled at the park.

Dnt sound so great ??

well it kinda was...

and here is where the blog gets interesting.

So basically yesterday everyone spread out and went to different places.

It was either half a group where invited to a house and the rest where not,
twas a girls night
or ppl where just too far away.

Dispite all that stuff I still enjoyed myself.
Yes, OK I saw it strange that after all the change I have been through these past 3 years
I still had to resort going to p.v because of some stupid situation.

Now the thing is this... I don't need anything or anyone to have fun. If I wanted to I could have done a whole night of what I use to see as my perception of fun... But I did not...

No yesterday was more of an observation...

I was seeing how some people have become since well just a few months ago...

Results have their pros's and con's tho the final outcome... Ti's just a massive question mark..

Anyway... I am not gonna let these things break down my day =D


Steve out

Sunday, July 26, 2009

An amazing weekend

Well, it has been quite a while since my last blog... loads has happend but im just gonna say what I feel like lol

ok soo first off I was in a bad mood this past month... those who know me know why, and those who don't... well lets just say I had it preety rough.

Insomma I realy needed this weekend...
It gave me a chance to catch a breath of fresh air and let me set aside some of the shit in my life..

Ok so here is what happend...

Friday --> Had work where I got some bad news... was then off to a whole day at gym as to try and take off some stress, but... to no avail. Then I realised I was going to be late for mustard seed, so I showerd off and walked up to St.Julians.

A Mugi tea, a 7up float and some crisps with Jesus on the side... It called for the perfect night to look into the mirror as to what I have become. I grabbed my bible every now and again and tried to find some guidence... but my heart was not there yet. I had to dig deeper and meet God half way.

I reached a point where it fealt like I was not even socialising any more... as in my body was there and I was talking... but the real me was deep at thaught . Hence my bad mood.

After M.seed we drove up to Buggieba and just got an ice-cream and relaxed for a while.

Saturday ---> woke up at like 12pm and went up to the airport to welcome home Krissie XD ( so glad your back sis) I then got a lift home with Bernice and went for a quick swim at exiles, where I met Zoe,Kai,Hillary etc... Tho I was still in a pissed mood, infact for some reason It grew as the day moved on but hey "se la vie" you know....
I then went to the BBQ of comm which was quite nice and then asked Simon to crash at his place as I needed a break from home ( 10x bro ). Some time passed and a buch of us took up the invattion to go chill at Annies flat where Simon introduced us to "20 Q " lol I swear that is some freaky shit XD.

ermm about an hour passed and Lara,Simon and I decided to go chill outside rotating who gets to swing on the hamok and having... and interesting conversation lol. I forgot all about my problems and just well... had fun = ).

I got some amazing friends lol

ermm then me n Sim walked to his flat and crashed.

Sunday ---> after four hours of sleep I woke up lol. with a good morning said in a raspy voice a coffee and a moment to appreciate the talent of Simon's magic fingers on his bass XD, we where off to the best mass with the most interesting character that I have ever attended lol.
the Alter was a pool table with a white cloth to cover the green and the jokes between the small crowd of people who somehow all knew each other made my morning that little bit more special lol.

A doughnut and a pea cake and we where off to take van to Krissie to do some baking lol. we got back and Sim and I played a game of table tennis where I was served XD. Tho seeing Simon beaten by a kid was worth it lol ( in all fairness that kid most probably plays every day there )

ermm we then had Lunch at simon's whilst watching some F1, had a 30 min nap and went off to Sliema with Char =D.

Went home. Washed, changed and got my jester and Boone hat for Lanfy's high tea get together, which was fun :)

ermm I then got home, cleaned my room... well lol and went online where I had a conversation I now regret... ( if you are reading... I am sorry and I didn't mean it. Ill ttyl)


anyway... I am off to bed as I have my one before the last day of work tomorrow... Wip di freaking do.

God bless you all

Steve out.

Monday, July 6, 2009

my white room

I am here, alone at home...
I got absolutely nothing to do so I decided to write a proper blog.

Today I had work.. After which I went to spend some time at the millennium chapel to say a quick hello to my dad =). I then went to go see a few y4j ppl at exiles and then came home...

and now here I am... on my big black chair with thorn arm rest's, typing away at my laptop.... trying to get my mind off things from my past.... present ... and future.I know I should be all positive and stuff... and I am. I guess that since I have nothing better to do.... no one interesting to speak to.... no one to hang out with at the moment.... its just me and God.... and I am going wild!

I have set myself in a huge white room......
a cool breeze kisses my chest. The rain is falling down hard. I close my eyes... take a deep breath and with a single step I begin to fall....the strong wind forces my arms up... mussels tense....eyes closed tight burst open showing my eyes to appear as if all colour has gone ....

I realise a long battle cry which makes a lion's roar seem like a whimper.... and then... with no effort at all I shoot out of the pit and sprout out huge, white angle wings.I look at my hands and clench my fists. I flap my wings and in no time at all, disappear into the horizon...

Make of this what you wish.

Steve Out

Friday, July 3, 2009


had an 18th party... twas fun =)


Saturday, June 27, 2009


I have just woken up from my first real sleep in 2 months and guess what... I'm still tired loool.
I am enjoying the fact that I have nothing to do today , its been a while since I just had some Steve time. I think we should all make room for our self sometimes =D.

OK soo I have some stuff I want to explain to my readers =P

right ....
so first off I know I have been real moody lately and well I got fed up of people stating the obvious and asking if I am in a bad mood when the see me on my own

ye it would be coz im in a bad mood but when I will be on my own the only people I would relay talk to know who they are..... I am not trying to piss off anyone but honestly if u see me in a bad mood just talk to me like you normally would. I will get better after I go pray and stuff so don't worry.


so yesterday I had Christabel's 15th birthday party thing at mellieha, I must say it was nice to get away for a while even tho I did not stay all that long.

I then got a lift with Charlene and Christabel where Chris kept changing every single song till we got to sliema until she found the one song she wanted XD drove Charlene crazy ( 10x for the lift bdw )

After that I showered, changed , ate and did some of my log book. later I went off to community
where Mig gave one of the best talks I have heard in a good while. I am probably saying this because I relay felt like it was directed to me. lol it was shit scary but in a good way XD

later we went to Birgu to some fancy bar where matt got tipsy on a SINGLE GLASS OF WHITE WINE lol can anyone say cheap date . We then went to step on and mig gave me a lift home =)

Now I am listening to the new Hillsong album which krisse has just sent me XD * LOVE YA SIS *

wow I feel sooo much better :) I feel like that even tho my life is meant to be realy bad hekk as if I just know God has got me coverd and as long as I stay close to him... The world can not break me down XD.

I am off

God bless you all =D

Steve out .

Friday, June 19, 2009

SUMMER day 1


my summer has started, and up till now it has been amazing.


as soon as I finished my paper which was quite easy, I went to pull out some cash and went off to get a... dr juice, gogi berry smoothie and a jar of sea water to give to Kai lol

well smoothie is coz I know she loves em
and sea water is coz she can't swim ><.
I am gonna say from now since i have already been asked... I did not do all that coz I like her :P, shes like a sister to me .

anyway I dropped those off, stood a while... then went off to millennium chapel for some quiet time :) After that I got some amazing sushi and ate it on the pier next to the sea, was amazing knowing I do not have to hurry to get home and study XD insomma..... then I went over to my friend Tara and swam; and my plan was to head off to home after that.

Twas not the case...

met matt. urp whilst he was looking for parking, got in his car and ended up looking for parking with him, then we went to exiles and met loads of lovely ppl where we played wear wolf again lol but Simon made it interesting and mad just a ware wolf XD well done sim n hope ur *&^(%$ up shoulder get healed soon dude

ermmm just got home... I know I got community in like 2 hrs but I am up for anything lol. I rly enjoy not planing stuff and just going on a random adventure. It's amazing how much stuff you find to do when you don't plan anything.

anyway, I go shave,shower and change

Tc ppl and God bless

Steve out .

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


So I just came home from spending 6 hrs at mcast doing a pressentation which I felt I did realy well in.. and a meeting which was so boaring it left me counting the the ammount of times the princaple said " insoma" XD
God I have never felt like going for as swim as bad I as do now, but I only got 2 days left which means 2 exams dnt wanna ruin it now huxx...

well few minutes ago I read kai's blog and it actuley put me in a good mood, and reminded me on what I tell alot of people... to appriciate the little things and be positive =D.

yesterday something strange happend.... I dono how, but some how I managed to hurt the bottem of my left foot, but ill live XD

ermmm yeah thats preety much it

God bless you all

Steve out.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

you bastard!!!

You bastard!!!

to you who forgot my birthday,
to you who pissed me off,
to the twat that made me want to beat him senseless for something he/she taught of.

taken lightly or given a shrug its YOU im speaking of

so take your smile and shuv it up your ass.
You know who i'm speaking of.

But bastard please understand, it s not hatred that courses through my vains .....
just the bastard inside me.... wanting you in pain

so from a bastard to a bastard hear my plead.
there is no need to make me feel...... to make you feel.........

what we all feel but do not reveal

steve out

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


The count down has begun.
MY summer is 8 examinations away, and yet with every day that passes I feel mixed emotions about it all.

I mean sure there is the beach, Dr juice and random adventures, community stuff, y4j stuff, possible dating... and hell my own 18th party is just after examinations.... but what use is that when all so many people including your self will be busy with their own thing. Be it improving your future, busting your ass to make some cash or even just traveling... I feel this summer just has a huge question mark....

They say that summer is what you make of it and I guess that is kinda true. btw who the hell is "they" ? until I get an answer for who "they" is I'm going with Gremlins XD ... why not?

well anyway I just came back from an accounts exam... was OK I guess, felt i should have done more studying tho.


mehh back to studies

till next time


Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Make a wish and blow the candle

hello all...

well, I am 18 today... and I decide to write a blog as I cant sleep.

I was expecting something Big today both spiritually and earthly. I stood waiting for God to give me a special little gift, or an over dose of attention; But as the day grew shorter the gift seemed like a spit in the eye .I was angry... both at God and at the world.

I tried to figure out why this situation seemed soo shitty but my anger built a wall around me and blocked the simple answer out. After I calmed down a bit I came to realize..... I had an amazing gift, and i never even saw it.

my mother giving me a gift from her heart when money is short.... the little sparrow that landed near my feet when I was waiting for a bus..... the ray of sunshine that gave me light to read..... the smile from a stranger.... a hug from a person that I would die for. These where my gifts, and now that I look back on it i realize what a fool I was.

Just because a person sends you a birthday greeting or a hug hello dose not mean that he/ she loves you.... Love is in the little things.

So things where not all sunshine and rainbows lol big woop.
The way I see it is like this.... you can either moan about how the world is picking on you.... or you can embrace it and fight a negative with a positive to make it attractive in your eyes hehe.

I guess that's it really.... another year passed by XD, one year closer to my house in the skies.

All i got to say is this really.... The world can and will throw all it has on my back to try bring me down... but I know that God is right there with me, easing the burden and letting the wind blow on my face =).

I LOVE you God *hug*

God bless you all

till next time

steve =)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

It is his birthday

I feel exactly like this guy, but don't have his ending

Monday, May 25, 2009

What a weekend

Hello all

Well I am in a great mood since last weekend so i decided to share it all with you via blog =D.

anyway sat we had a nice relaxed evening on the beach. Bongos, guitar's beer and a fiaccola lol * SHOUT OUT TO PAULA *

was nice to get away from the books for a while and spend that time with some amazing people ;)

Got a feeling where gonna do that alot in summer XD I wont mind.

Anyway Sunday we had the famous wedding XD.
it was EPIC. open bar, great food, dancing and just fooling around hah was great.
was not sure how I felt about not getting drunk after drinking soo much. lol I'm guessing I sweat it all out of my system, dancing.
still got a fraking hang over tho mehh :S

not fare if u ask me :P

ermmm.... yeah then after we went to a little place to get a pizza coz like we could XD and then Matt gave me a ride home * SHOUT OUT TO MATT *

Anyway that was pretty much my weekend lol.

I'm a little pissed off I got to study on my birthday :( but MAYBE we do something small after community or Y4j.... what u think guys ?????

* puppy face *

I am trying to introduce some colour into my life XD.
I figured God made so much more than black hehe. I am never gonna wear pink tho so no ideas girls :P

anyways I shall be leaving you all as I must carry on with my studies.... (18th June.... where for art thou 18th June )

God bless you all =D
Till next time


Saturday, May 23, 2009

A little change

Hello all

well I decided to change a few things on my blog

1/ my background.

Being that summer is soooo close but yet so far I needed a nice summerish thing... enough said

my blog title to " brain crack"

Yes well when I do a blog its because my brain will be sooo backed up with soo much taught and ideas that I got to let them out in some form or another p.s yes sim I know I saw it on a video but still XD

anywayssss I shall leave you all as I have another *** exam to go to :(.

God bless you all
till next time

Steve =).